There's Always Time For Tea
by Jokerfest
Summary: Hatter wants to know how to act normal for Alice. Of course, he has a very unlikely teacher, the original Mad Hatter. Not going to lie, very obvious yaoi and something of a Johnny Depp cameo *wink* Anyway HatterXHatter Rated M for a reason.


**Another Hatter and Hatter fic. It starts off a bit slower than my previous one but it gets...well...it's smut, so you know how it gets. Anyway, comment, comment, comment! It makes me smile. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy. Seriously though, has no one else thought of these two? Or these three since well, sneaky girl that I am, I sort of brought Johnny into it as well? Enough spoiling, enjoy. And I do not own any of the characters as yummy as they are in their various compromising positions.**

"How the 'ell did I get back 'ere?"

"Well you must have wanted it or you simply wouldn't be here. I'm guessing you're having a spot of trouble?"

"No, not trouble!"

An orange brow hefted high.

"Well, no' really trouble."

"I am quite eager for the tale, how 'bout we have a sit."

Mad waved his hand and a table and two chairs appeared. A table cloth fluttered from the white nothingness and settled onto the table, as fast as he blinked, Hatter saw a teapot and cups appear. He circled the table warily and then finally decided the table was harmless. He pulled out a seat and sat, staring at the maddeningly colorful, older Hatter.

"Now," Mad began as took the teapot, " begin."

"Well, see, Alice is...well she's a bit miffed. Thinks I'm a little too odd sometimes."

"Ah," Mad said encouragingly as he began to pour the tea, " well you are a Wonderlander, aren't you. It's a trait, the silliness. Doesn't she know that?"

"Well, yeh, but we live in 'er world now, it's a bit diff'rent."

"Never been. They have teatime there?"

"Well, no."

"Gracious! No tea at teatime, practically heathens, those Otherworlders."

After finishing up with the pouring, Mad gently placed the pot down. His hands tapped gently on the table surface as he pondered the predicament. He whistled a bit, a lilting and curious tune his old friend March once knew. Finally it came upon him, smack and bang, like a lightning bolt.

"I have it!"

"Wot? Have wot, esactly?"

"Why a plan t' soothe your unhappy little Alice."

"Oh, tha' right?"

"Yes, but tea first. No tea, honestly. Sounds horrider and horrider, the more it's heard."

" 'Orrider is right. Cheers," and with that Hatter downed the tea. Realizing too late, he briefly wondered precisely what kind of tea Mad had prepared. Really, he'd been a double agent not too long ago, one did not simply drink what one was handed.

"Ah," Mad said smiling widely, " now we are in the right state of things."

"Right...sta..te? Wot the 'ell...did you do... t' my drink?"

"Well, it's not so much the drink as it is yourself. It's making you a tad bit less odd. Doesn't work on me though."

"Why no'?"

"Because I'm havin' a damn good time bein' mad, that's why. Now, once the grogginess passes I want you to try looking around."

Hatter could barely lift his head, from the table. Somehow he'd slunk into a heap onto the checkered tablecloth. He looked at Hatter and suddenly, it wasn't Hatter. It was a dark haired man, with chocolate eyes. The face was still the same though, that twinkle of mischievousness, obvious. The clothes had also changed. It was what his Alice would refer to as a grunge look, black fedora, ripped jeans, long sleeved shirt, slightly open, necklace after necklace draped over his neck which like the rest of him, was now a delicious tan color.

"Wot...the 'ell 'appened t' you?"

"No, not me, you. You are seeing the ordinary, the world as Alice wishes you'd see it."

"This is you ordinary?"

"Yes, what you see is how I would appear, had I been born in Otherworld. How do I look?"

Hatter bit his lip. Was it wrong that he felt a spark of attraction, growing lust, simply from looking at the man? Was that ordinary, to want to jump the man's bones as he simply sat there? That had to be madness.

"Look great. Now where's the damn antidote?"

"No antidote, sorry."

"Sure as 'ell not bloody sorry, you fuckin' rainbow colored-"

"So I'm that handsome, eh?"

"Excuse me?"

"The normal reaction, to someone attractive is well, defensiveness. You are being defensive. You want me, don't you, young Hatter?"

"Want you," Hatter repeated dumbly.

Mad stood and removed, the fedora, placing it on the table. He stood behind Hatter and pulled the chair out. Hatter sat still wondering what the man would do next. As Mad, eased himself into his lap, he knew exactly where things were progressing.

"That is much better," Mad whispered close to his ears. He stopped breathing as the older man's bottom began to move slowly in his lap.

"Mad, get off, this is no' ordin-"

"Ordinary? Is it not ordinary to want what is not ordinary? And I am ordinary in your eyes, am I not? And yet, it's strange for me to appear this way. You're curious, herego, wanting. How on earth did you think my Alice ended up in Wonderland, how your Alice managed to find you?"

Hatter shivered as he felt a warm tongue trace over his earlobe. He could feel his pants suddenly become uncomfortable. He simply couldn't believe he was responding to Mad, that he was actually beginning to enjoy himself.

"And you'll want to come back, hate yourself for coming back, but that's ordinary too, wanting something that you shouldn't have."

"Mad, please."

"Please what? Another ordinary thing, to say stop when you really mean...go," and with that Mad claimed the plump lips of his Hatter. Mad simply loved the taste of him. He wasn't particularly sure what the boy tasted like, what _made_ him taste that way but it was even better than tea. He noticed Hatter didn't fight beneath him, that his young charge had simply opened his mouth. He quickened his hips as his tongue plunged into the warm inviting cavern, feeling Hatter grow harder beneath him.

After having his fill he pulled away. He watched with a satisfied grin as the younger man tilted his head back to breathe. His lips almost instinctively rested on Hatter's throat.

"Mad...this, what is this?"

Hatter felt teeth piercing the skin at his throat. He was certain that it couldn't be normal to enjoy the painful feeling. Could it? The pain and that ever present roll of Mad's ass over his cock was making him lose it. Is this what Alice meant?

"More please."

"Beg for it. I _love_ begging."

"Mad please, I wan' more."

"How badly? I have t' be sure you know."

"Drop my fuckin' pants and you'll see how fuckin' sure!"

"Ah, and the desperation of the unbelievably average! There it is."

Mad stood, cool as ice despite the teasing he'd bestowed upon Hatter. The true test wasn't so much the lap dance as what would come next.

Hatter was pissed. He was pissed and he was shocked and he was horny. This combination of emotions only made him realize one thing: that Mad was going to get fucked backwards and sideways before Hatter was through.

"You are absolutely the maddest person on earth if you think-"

Hatter gulped as Mad began removing his shirt. Tanned and ringed fingers pulled the shirt up and over tousled brown hair. Well defined chest and abdomen revealed themselves, and it was all Hatter could do to not let his tongue roll out of his mouth. The shirt was thrown casually to the side. Then much to Hatter's delight, the older man let his fingers fall to the fly of his jeans. He'd never seen a pair of jeans until OtherWorld, and now understood why Alice loved when he wore them. Also, why she loved to watch him take them off. As Mad pulled the zipper down he felt his jaw clench so tightly the bones creaked in his head. Fingers hooked into the waist of the pants pulling down boxers and exposing an amply sized cock already half mast. Pants and boxers were kicked away and then the most extraordinary thing happened. Hatter could not help the low groan that escaped his throat as Mad bent over the table legs spread. There was a pink and green cursive _MH_ just over the crack of his ass that made Hatter's cock twitch.

"Wot a lovely sight you make, Mad," he whispered as he approached the other man. Once he was close enough, he let his hand trace the letters. Mad's body shivered and a soft sigh escaped his mouth. Hatter liked the soft sound and let the palm of his hand rest fully on Mad's backside. He couldn't help but squeeze and smiled wickedly when Mad grunted in response. He wondered what would happen if he took it a bit further.

He pulled his hand back and let it smack down with a whistle on Mad's ass. Mad moaned and wiggled under the attention. As red appeared on that once perfect tan, Hatter couldn't help but smile. It was exactly what the man deserved for tormenting him. He did the same on the other cheek, getting the same moan that seemed to come from somewhere deep and dark.

"If you can spank me, you can very well fuck me, can't you?"

"I could," Hatter couldn't help but tease.

"Then-" Mad yelped as three stinging slaps landed on his bottom. He hadn't expected Hatter to turn down that road but also couldn't deny the fact that he was now painfully hard.

"Bu' I want you t' beg for it."

Mad blushed and bit his lips. He certainly hadn't expected that, not at all. The time before, when they'd met he'd been very much in charge. Had he really been reduced to begging the younger man? But wouldn't it be fun to let someone else be in charge for once? What joy could there be if there was no madness.

"Hatteh, my dear please give me what I want."

Nothing happened at first, nothing that Mad could sense and then he couldn't help the moan sound that escaped his mouth as he felt Hatter's tongue trace up his spine. He felt the other man's heart beat through his back. He gasped when teeth playfully nipped at his neck and couldn't stop the helpless sound that he made as the tongue moved back down to his crack. Calloused fingers gripped his butt tightly and he knew as surely as he was mad that Hatter was going to finish what he started.

Now, Hatter was a man who acquired skills. It was the way the world worked in Wonderland. Either you learned or you were done for. However, the time he'd spent with Mad had taught him things perhaps he wouldn't _need _to know but with the man beneath him it sure as well was handy information. For example, if he were to put his tongue right against the man's puckered entrance he was sure to hear-

"Ahhh, _please_!"

Hatter grinned and let his tongue pull away. He was pleased to see that lovely tanned globes shuddered beneath his fingers.

The other lesson that he acquired was a little more daunting but he was sure he was up to the task. He rose up and pulled the lovely brown tangle of hair forcing Mad's face closer and every muscle in the delicious man's body to pull taut. Hatter waggled two fingers in front soft pink lips.

"Suck, then."

Hatter's teeth ground tightly as a pink tongue enveloped his two fingers and his own throat strangled out a moan. What a wicked tongue Mad had, but of course he already knew that. When he was satisfied he pulled his fingers away and put them back to Mad's bottom. He put in two fingers and moved them slowly.

When he was sure the man was properly stretched he pulled down his pants and kicked them away. He pulled away the boxers and soon had his cock replacing his fingers. He pushed in, taking his sweet time getting used to the feel of Mad. It wasn't the same as Alice but the friction as Mad's insides squeezed on his dick was sweet nonetheless. As he pushed all the way in his eyes took a quick vacation to the back of his head and he had to stop and collect himself.

"If you stop now-"

"Shhh, shh, none...of that Mad, jus' collectin' myself. You feel fuckin' fantastic."

"So do you, now, if you would just- Gah! There! That!"

Hatter rocked into the man again finding a rhythm, each time seeming to drive in deeper into the older man. As Mad clenched around him, pulling him, he couldn't help but dig his fingers into the firm bottom. The high sound of pleasure that escaped Mad let him know that the man was a masochist as well as a sadist. He smiled at the thought, perhaps that too was an ordinary thing.

Mad was coming undone. The lad was driving into him at a pace he hadn't expected. Every time the boy's cock scraped across his sweet spot he thought he'd melt right off the table. And the boy seemed to be learning quickly because every once in awhile a sharp smack landed on his bottom. He could feel sweat rolling down his chest, down his back as he was reamed into the table. He could scarcely catch his breath and his heart seemed to be trying to rail out of his chest. He couldn't even get purchase on the table as he was fucked so hard it began to move. Teacups clinked and chittered on the table. He yelped as he felt fingers wrap around his cock, pumping him in time with the intense thrusts. He growled hoarsely as he was brought closer to his finish.

"Hatteh-I can't-can't!"

"Cum after me, pet."

Though he slightly resented the word "pet" Mad found himself clinging to some semblance of control waiting for that moment when Hatter completely lost it, which judging by the fevered thrusts was getting close.

Hatter's fingers gripped Mad's shoulders, pulling him to his cock as he forced himself forwards. He was so fucking close, so, so, close.

"FUUUUCK!"

Hatter came hard, knocking Mad forward and sending the china crashing ot the floor. The man beneath him cried out shuddering as his own orgasm hit him.

There was just one problem.

"It won' fuckin' go down."

"Just a minor sideaffect."

"How long does this last," Hatter gasped out, his cock still painfully hard inside Hatter.

"I'd say about three-yes, three hours."

"Fuck!"

"Yes, that usually helps."

Mad shuddered as the the long intrusion pulled out of him. He was even more startled when Hatter flipped so he was lying on his back. Hatter finally removed the last of his clothing before gripping his thighs tightly. He was pissed, Mad could tell, but the malicious grin on the younger man's face showed an eagerness.

"This is probably one idea you're gonna regret old man."

"That so?"

Hatter pushed in to the hilt, making Mad scream until he was hoarse.

"Yeah," Hatter finally breathed, " because your ass is gonna feel every minute of those three 'ours. Every. Fuckin'. Minute."

Each word was punctuated by a breathtaking thrust that had Mad clenching the sides of the table. Perhaps he had made the tea a tad too strong. However, he could hardly bring himself to say he regretted the action and perhaps that was perfectly normal.


End file.
